Day 1:: 31 Days of Things that Help Me Focus

Day 1:: 31 Days of Things that Help Me Focus
Day 2:: A Fresh Start 
Day 3:: SLEEP
Day 4:: Saying No
Day 5:: Oh Be Careful Little Eyes
Day 6:: Because Birthdays Keep Coming
Day 7:: Her Quiet Time Letters to God
Day 8:: A Beautiful Way to Focus Your Week--Singing Truth
Day 9:: Must. Get. Out. And. See.
Day 10: Fighting What We Can't See
Day 11: Perspective
Day 12:: Art
Day 13:: I'd Like to Ask You a Question
Day 14:: A Prayer of Dedication
Day 15:: Bible Study Tools
Day 16:: I Recommend Cutting and Gouging
Day 17:: Embracing Quiet
Day 18: One Choice at a Time
Day 19:: Recognizing an Overflowing Cup
Day 20:: A Mission Statement
Day 21:: Writing that Matters
Day 22:: Persistence 
Day 23:: Call him what he is
Day 24:: Setting the Example of Debt Free Living
Day 25:: How to Have Complete Joy
Day 26:: Simplify! 
Day 27:: Preparation
Day 28:: My Jesus Story Box
Day 29:: Not Being Good Enough
Day 30:: Serving--Speaker Notes
Day 31:: Waiting

31 Days to Focus.

Life can be overwhelming.

And distracting.

In some seasons of my life, there have been major external emergency-type things going on that threatened to paralyze me in despair or anxiousness or frustration.

Most of the time though... it's mainly me.

I have a hard time maintaining correct focus. 

The seen and the temporary can blur my vision of the the unseen and eternal.

So I'm joining The Nester, and many other fabulous 31 dayers, to share 31 days of things that help me FOCUS. 

Because this series is all about focusing... I thought it would be helpful to answer a couple of critical questions first. I want you to know where we'll be looking.

Where our focus will be:

His perfect Love that is the only reason that it is always worth it to get up in the morning and live another day. 

On Jesus, the One and Only.

His truth, His word, His Spirit, His calling, His will for us in this life.



"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
~Heb 12:2

For What Purpose? Why?

For the JOY of relationship!

It is the joy of the LORD that is our strength. How can we find joy in Him if we don't focus on Him?

"Consider him... So that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
~Hebrews 12:3

And also... these beautiful gifts of focus...

"You will keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts you."
~Isaiah 26:3

"Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness."
~Luke 11:34

"... I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing..."
~John 5:19


I want to be effective, productive, and have a heart like His. I want to have a pure heart so I can see God. 

How can I keep my heart pure? By living according to His word.

This series is about walking out that purity to maintain clear vision, correct focus, so we can see where we're going on this distracting, fog-filled journey towards our real home.

I hope you'll join me and share your own thoughts along the way!

A Bigger Struggle than I Expected

I've been blogging for Compassion International this month, and the assignment for this week made me hit an unexpected internal wall.

I was asked to write a letter ...

"... as if you are a sponsored child. 



God told us to become like little children. Remember? This assignment is about aligning with the heart of children in poverty.

Write a poem about the sights, sounds and smells of poverty or write a letter to your sponsor, of 13 years or 13 minutes.

Write about your feelings, fears, hopes and dreams, or imagine you've switched places with your sponsored child and write about the shock, stress and adjustments you have to make. 

You are a child living in extreme poverty. What do you have to say?"


I really can't understand what's it's like to walk in their shoes... or bare feet.

The wall this assignment slammed against in me is pride. 

I don't like asking for help. I like being the helper.

It's like my two year old says every time she refuses my help "I can do it all. my. own. self!"

But I really can't. I don't.

A "crisis" for me is if the electricity goes out, or if our water is cut off. Not only is that uncomfortable, but I can't cook or clean and evening hours of productivity would come a lot earlier. Living without these things is normal life for them. 

I bake from scratch... but my flour is already grown, harvested, ground and neatly sifted for me.

I get my chicken's whole from the farmer's market... but they're already de-feathered and all that good stuff.

I truly can't imagine having to grow or hunt all our food, or even a decent portion of it. I can't imagine  my growling stomach grinding down my pride until I would beg for a meal or eat scraps from the trash.

I get my filtered water right at the sink... no long walks, no aching back from carrying as much as I possibly can.

My "fears" are about not doing everything the best way as a homeschooling mom... not that my children won't ever get an education.

Or I "fear" not setting good eating habits for my kids... not that they will cry themselves to sleep from hunger.

And while I may smell some nasty things during my days that could singe off your nose hairs... I can also fold it up in a sanitary disposable diaper and chunk it in the trash. I don't live in it.




So instead of trying to write a letter as if I were a child in extreme poverty... I would like to share with you some things my sponsored children have written to me in letters over the years...

Dear Elise,

I am very happy to write a letter for you. I am proud of you...
I have learned that God loves me...
I have learnt how to draw pictures, count numbers and read...
I love singing my favorite song is "In Jesus' name we are one family"...
My favorite verse is Jeremiah 29:11-13...
I love to see big big trees in the jungles near my villages...
Yes in our village we have one ring well it is very deep from the well we use to pull out water by a bucket tied with a long rope... Our project re-opened and I use to go in the evening we fetch water from ring well...
I want to see your garden. Squash and bean plants. But I don't have a garden...
I have no plans for this summer. I take a bath to stay cool. Here, there's no river to swim. My Mum and Dad are busy in the paddy field... my parents are working at field everyday...
I am going to class regularly, I learn many memory verses, and songs I want to learn more and more coming day...
When I grow up I would like to become a pilot...
Last month I appeared 1st unit test and I did well...
I have two older brother and three younger brother. They are very dear to me...
I also love to take care of my brother but I don't have time to play with them. Early morning I go to school and from school I go to my project till sunset...
In my last year examination I got second in my class...
I am grateful to God for the wonderful things He has done for me and my family...
I request that you pray for me that God's provision and protection may be with me...
Please pray for me so that I can learn things more and more...
My prayer request are that I would pass well...
I need your prayer for my family's member...
Please pray for me...
One day, I would like to meet you...

I always pray for you all.

Yours Lovingly,
Your Sponsored Children



Sponsoring children continues to change me. It affects the way I pray. It impacts the way I shop. It humbles me. It convicts me.

This is a beautiful video about the importance of writing to the children.

This one too...

Sponsoring children blesses me. I can't describe how much. 


How has your experience of sponsoring children blessed you? Please share your joy in the comments today! 

What's at the Heart of Intense, Distracting, Destructive Anger

She was in a mood from the moment of waking.



One that demands full attention. There is no option for ignoring her explosive screaming, her defiant attitude. I instruct, discipline, discuss, and remain consistent but can not derail this runaway train barreling through every barrier, smashing resilience and home school schedule and peace to bits.

Tantrums and testing and long times of wailing can wear the nerves raw and I am angry.

I'm angry that a two foot tornado with a scowl and a wispy blonde mullet is hijacking my schedule.

 

I'm angry that I have to continue to discipline her for the umpteenth time when I'd rather be learning, teaching, playing with her.

I'm angry that shrieking, dramatic, emotional manipulation has been the sound track of the morning.

I'm angry that I can't give more than busy work to the seven year old because these offenses can not be ignored.

I'm angry that I can't hold the crying baby while I have to keep physically stopping, disciplining, and re-directing the destructive force that is my second born blessing this morning.

I'm angry that I can't process my own emotions and thoughts that are slamming against my insides as relentless tidal waves that tempt a surge down my own sinful flesh-fingertips to shake this little person who rattles me to the core.

How can a hysterical parent teach a child to not throw fits?

I can think of a few things I'd like to scream. Throw. Slam.



I walk away for a few minutes. For space. For desperate prayer.



I hear a familiar crashing against the wall upstairs followed by the seven year old wailing.

I take the stairs two at a time and I hear it, like times before, Selah begging "Alexaaaaa! PLEASE. Stooooooooooop!"

Another crash. Two. More crying.

I'm at the door.

And I find her just as I knew I would, hand cocked and loaded with her next block-missile aimed at her cowering sister in the far corner.

When a beloved child intentionally hurts another beloved child there is such a collision of intense emotion and only the Father can fully understand, can correctly respond. 

It is to Him I spirit-cry out indecipherable pleas in decibels that I am sure reach His throne room.

It is later, during nap time and quiet when the events of the crashing morning replay and pound hard that a simple thought keeps resurfacing clear and poignant.

She is angry because she is not in control, and is not getting what she wants. 

And the answer to the prayer I've prayed for weeks about my intense anger that grips my throat and drains my energetic drive, my joy... it comes softly, a piercing that is the beginning of the healing.

You are angry for the same reasons, too. 

How can I turn from the voice of Truth? He sees me. I am known.

And there is no condemnation but rather I am flooded with relief to finally, clearly, know the source of the destructive anger that has been suffocating so many moments of praise, of opportunity, of availability.

I am not in control.

I am not getting what I want.

I can respond and discipline and teach and train but I cannot control.

He continues to teach me through her, me this child trying to learn to not throw fits.

What is needed for her to have a HEART response, a real change of attitude, of perspective... to not be internally still throwing a fit?

I can see her face set as cold and hard as stone, and I know the eventual process and WHY of her softening, and I have my answer.

I have to really give up my illusion of control.

I have to conform my wants to His will, His desires, what He says is best.

To stop screaming, and fighting, and internal sulking I have to recognize His desires and plans as better than mine. I have to really believe His thoughts and ways are higher.

What does He desire for me, then? What is this good thing that trumps a day of productive homeschooling and house work and play time? 

To have a heart like His. To be full of love that is willing to suffer long and still be kind. To be humble, slow to speak, slow to become angry, and quick to listen.

It is when I acknowledge that I really do want those things too, that I stop fighting the process, and instead allow myself to be trained, conformed, transformed in the process.

That means if He decides my day is best spent learning through a tantrum-bent toddler to lean not on my own understanding, but to acknowledge Him in every moment of my parenting, trusting Him with all my heart and desires and schedule... that I must remember He lovingly directs my paths.

In this fear-of-the-Lord trust I begin to find Wisdom.

Whose paths are all peace.

But... It is extremely difficult.

It gives me more sympathy for the raging, dramatic wreck of a toddler.

But what I deeply desire for my child, He desires for his. We really want the same thing. And that is a relief.

Though she may continue to struggle against me, I will choose to cooperate with Him.

I am not my own. 

I will heed the Holy Spirit, my Loving God, my patient Father, and by His power, persistence and grace I will learn to not throw fits. He promises me as I return to Him that He will cure me from backsliding.

What a gracious, beautiful, loving way He is teaching me about surrendering my time and this illusion of control. 

 




Have you struggled with anger? What do you think the source of your anger was/is, and how did you/do you deal with it? 

Meet The President

I thought you'd like to "meet" him.

He is the president of Compassion International. 

I found this video because this week there is a movement to spread truth through Pinterest.

Please check out My Sponsored Child board and take a moment to ask God to give you His heart for children in this world. For your own children. For the neighbor children. For your church-family children. For the kids that aren't nice to your kids.

For the children across the world who feel... and those who truly are... unseen, unloved, unprotected by those who should be caring for them.

"Can a mother forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget, 
I will not forget you! 
See,
I have engraved you
On the palms of my hands."

~Isaiah 49:15-16

If You're Finding it Really Hard to Focus

So I figured it out.

If  I could duplicate myself 7 times, I could(and probably would) give each "Elise" a full time, 8-14 hours a day, 6 days a week kind of job.

Here we go... in no particular order...

1) Full time wife and business partner/dreamer/schemer with husband

2) Full time homeschooling mom

3) Full time cook-from-scratch chef who keeps it all healthy, delicious, and budget friendly

4) Full time Beauty Will Rise(anti-trafficking) advocate, organizer, fund-raiser, blogger

5) Full time professional makeup artist, hair stylist, makeup class instructor

6) Full time counselor

7) Full time writer

Then, when I wasn't working one of these "jobs"(I thank God these things are also--in large part--my hobbies!), I would have other responsibilities/joys/things that occupy time like: cleaning the house and doing laundry, nursery coordinator/diaconate member at church, tending the garden, exercising, taking care of a nursing baby, spending time with extended family, reading/continuing education, potty training a resistant toddler, soccer practice/games, bill paying, email responding....

I'll just stop there.

I'll continue in a couple of minutes when my heart rate returns to normal...

Ok.

Ooooooooook.

The crazy thing?

You are probably this busy/stretched/wearing-or-could-be-wearing this many "hats" too.

Moderation is not my strong suit. I like to throw myself at something full force, and get it done well, and on time.

Unfortunately, I have found this to be absolutely impossible with most of my responsibilities/joys because they are RECURRING.

Blast.

So recently, something really crazy happened. I was blog-hopping(something I very, very rarely do) and I came across a lovely blog that reminded me about Nester's 1 Days of Change challenge/invitation.







Basically, you pick a topic and post about it every. single. day. of. October.

Yep, 31 straight days.

Who in their ever-lovin'-already-borderline-overwhelmed-mind does that?? I mean, is it even possible??

These are some topics people posted about last year:

31 Days to a Better Photo from Darcy at Life With My 3 Boybarians
31 Days to a No Brainer Wardrobe from Hayley at The Tiny Twig
31 Days of Living Simply from Emily at Remodeling this Life

Want to see about 700 more? Click here. 

So, when I came across this idea, this crazy challenge... I laughed. And laughed. I was only a little hysterical.

Like, even the idea of hitting "publish" 31 days in a row pushed me over some unseen edge and I just couldn't catch myself.

But as I was saying "no way... uh-uh.... never..." I felt that tiny Whisper that makes me nervous.

I got serious real fast.

"Okay God... if You want me to do this... which I KNOW You don't... then You're going to have to give me the idea, the inspiration, the passion to do this. There's no way I can even think about 31 things to write about right now! I'm so tired...

And even if I COULD think of 31 things that I WANTED to write about... that challenge would make me crazy."

But He was bugging me, so I got a pen and paper and sat down saying "okay... You tell me then..."

You know what? It took me a very few, short, super easy minutes to write down ideas to share under the umbrella of one specific topic that I actually felt calmer simply planning to write about.

31 Days of Things that Help Me Focus. 

Yep, I'm going to do it.

I'll have a fancy "31 Days" button and more info as October gets closer... but I just wanted to share because I am actually very excited about this challenge! I hope some of the things that help me focus on what and when and Who and how will help you, too!

It's going to be a wild ride.



 

He Promises to Give Wisdom Generously, Without Finding Fault

Dear God,

When I think about our sponsor children, or about sponsoring another child...

When I think about the endless, desperate, very real need...

I become overwhelmed and I want to shut down.

This entire world is needy. Everyone I know is needy. I am needy.

You are the Only One who doesn't need anything. You are the Only One who knows how to give everything.

I am confused in my heart and mind about how and when and where and how much to give...

I am trying to understand and follow Your law thoroughly because I have thoroughly tested Your promises in it and I have found it ALL good... and You say if I want to sum up the law and the prophets that I should do unto others as I would have them do to me.  

I know if I were to see these children so desperate for love and truly hungry, I would eat less, and give more.

I'd even give them some of my own kid's food.

I just know I couldn't stomach seconds or thirds when big eyes and growling, bloated tummies were in front of my face.

I could conserve more. I could share more.

But Your word also says there are things worth celebrating with not-every-day extravagance. Like remembering what You've done for us. Like when someone turns to You and loves You and follows You. 

And You say there will always be poor people, and that whatever I don't do for the least of them, that it is actually YOU I have neglected.

It's hard for me to not measure the cost of things I might buy against what it would cost someone else.

I could buy that $5 candle to decorate my room, and it would bring in beauty and light to my bare space.

Or I could give that $5 to bring Beauty and Light to help a child survive, to provide clean water, to sponsor a child, or to help fund someone to develop leadership skills.

Or I could spend that $5 on gas to go visit a loved one here and bring some kind of relief to a whole different kind of desperate need and hunger that is rampant here.

I can only spend that money one way. And I have a very limited amount of money. I feel my wisdom amounts to even less.

Please fill me with Your wisdom, as You promise. Be generous with me so I can be wise in being generous with others.

I am going to spend money today, or consume or use things that cost money, so please help me to spend/use/consume what You've given me wisely.

Help me to invest where there will be return. Help me to value unseen, eternal things.

If You tell me to sponsor more children, I will.

Help me to BE. STILL.... And remember Who You are... and who I was and who I am because of You and what the purpose of my vapor-temporary life is.

Please help me to not be drowned in guilt or yesterday's bad decisions but to open my hands to You with all my resources and let You distribute them.

All I have is Yours. Every single breath.

Every single cent.

I open my hands.

I am listening.

A Prayer for Us, the Poor

My little family of five?... We are below the American poverty line.

But we eat organic food.

We have internet.

As my pastor said a few weeks ago, when he was preaching about how rich we(our church/Americans) are, "even our poor have air conditioning."

I don't know that all the American "poor" have air conditioning, but I like to keep the AC at a nice and comfy 77 degrees(it would be 75 if my husband would let me get away with that). I do not sleep well in the heat.

I can afford the $3.49 gasoline to drive to visit my family/church/work about 4-5 days a week.

In one of my three family vehicles.

Yes, all three vehicles are at least 10 years old, but they run well(thanks to a handy husband and generous, skilled cousins!). They all have AC too. And they are all paid off... so I count that as real wealth... not "credit card rich".

I wear contacts so I'm not worse than legally blind all the time. My vision is a hazy 20/425. I remember going into the optometrist the first time at 13, being asked to read the smallest line possible, and saying "... that's supposed to be a big 'E' at the top of the chart, right?..."

I can afford a new $3 toothbrush for each of us every three months.

I have an iPhone with a data plan.

I have no idea what it means to be really hungry. Even when my pantry is "empty"... it isn't really empty. I have no idea what it means to be dying of thirst, or dying because I drank filth out of the desperate need for fluid. Filtered water was a "must have" before we moved in.

For crying out loud, even my plants get filtered water. Don't judge me.

I have no idea what it means to truly be unloved. 

I hear "I love you" every day... from the tiny sweetness of the toddler to the steady faithfulness of my husband. Don't get me started on my massive extended family. I'm so loved, and have that love expressed to me so well, I always just want to adopt people into my family. It's mayhem (and sometimes bordering on insanity) when we're all together, but truly, but there is abundant love and grace.

If you are reading this... will you the same few moments it took you to read this blog to pause in your day, and click over here to pray for these sweet children by name? These real kids who actually know real hunger on every level? The poverty of love boring holes in their guts? Just say a prayer that they will feel the deep, deep love of Jesus that is vast, unending, boundless, free?

Or click over here... and pray that these kids, who have been waiting so long(the number of days are right above their precious faces)... that their hope will not be deferred and their hearts will not be sick because they haven't been selected to be sponsored?

Kids notice when they're left out.

If you have children, encourage them to pray with you? It is a good thing to be heart-broken over the broken hearted. And kids know how to pray for other kids. They don't get caught up in what sounds pretty or spiritual, they just say it like it is. 

My kids teach me about prayer every day. They pray for hearts and feelings and miraculous ends to without-Christ-impossible situations. They pray against loneliness.

Loneliness affects everyone who has the ability to love. These kids are old enough to experience deep loneliness. 

Praying with you today with a full belly and a full heart... 

"LORD Almighty, LORD Most High... 

Thank You that You are great enough to meet every need. 

Thank You that You care deeply about every single one of our aching hearts. 

Thank You that You alone can cure, satisfy, free us from every kind of poverty. 

I pray You would free us from our habitual self-focus. I pray You would open our blind eyes to You so we can become more like You and love like You do. 

I pray these children... Christopher... Moises... Mercy... Fraicol... would know TODAY, THIS MOMENT that You are with them, You SEE them, You deeply care about their worries, their loneliness, their hunger, their life and heart wounds. 

I pray that You would bring them sponsors. 

I pray that their parents, if they have them, would be patient, kind, and will invest in them today. I pray they will have mentors and leaders to show them examples of Your faithful, unchanging, tender love. 

I pray they would learn Your voice above all the other noise... and follow You.

In Jesus' name, Amen."