Day 30:: Serving--Speaker Notes

September 22nd, at about half past three in the morning, He woke me with words.

A running stream of fluid thoughts, an answer to prayers for just this, poured into me so I could pour them out.

Eyes half open but heart awake I reached for my iphone, and tapped as fast as my fingers could go.

Over the next five weeks, He confirmed and expounded through His word what He wanted me to share.

I practiced and prayed and tweaked and prayed again and cut a ton out and prayed all the way up to the point of standing, dry-mouthed, in front of all their beautiful 6th-12th grade faces.

It was a Monday, about 9:30 in the morning, and while some of them look half-asleep I was as wired as if I'd just inhaled 3 shots of expresso(which I intentionally passed on, though running on way too little sleep).

My thirteen year old sister, Claire, was in the crowd, and I found her lovely face first as I set down my notes.

After a shaky sip of water, an attempt(denied) to speak without the microphone, and an awkward comment about how much I enjoy public speaking later, I began:

"Good morning,

Before I begin, I want you to know that I consider it a huge privilege to speak to you all. I want you all to know how I view you, and I'd like to share some of my story, because when I have been in your position I think these things are important for understanding the perspective of the person I am listening to.

Each and every one of you are a beautiful, unique expression of God's character that has never before graced the earth, and never will again. That is how I view you because that is who you are. 

You guys are at an awesome stage in life because you are really learning and experiencing this in your friendships and romantic relationships. You know that there is no replacement for that person that is so special to you. There is no one else like them. And while it's easier for us to recognize that about other people I want you to know: that is who you are. A perfectly, beautiful, wonderfully unique expression of God's character.

And that was actually part of the challenge in deciding what to share with you all: you are all so different! You guys are from 6th-12th grade and are young men and young women... and even where there may be many similarities--like with Claire and I, we have the same parents and siblings, but she is the youngest girl in our family of nine children, and I am the oldest... so our life experiences are still extremely different.

So I'm not pretending that I know you, or what is going on in your life, because I don't. But what I would like to share are some ways that God has made us all the same. And if you like psychology, you're going to enjoy this, because these similarities determine how everyone functions, why everyone makes the choices they do, and how we live, and seek out joy and purpose in life. 

But before I share these, I told you I'd share a little of my story, and while I don't want that to be the focus of my talk, I am going to try to cram my 27 years into about 2 minutes... so if you don't care to know about me just tune out for about that long, and we'll go from there.

I'm going to go back before my junior high and high school, because something happened that really set the framework for how I viewed life during those years. When I was about seven years old, I was sexually abused by someone who should have taken care of me, but didn't. This shaped a lot of how I thought and felt even though I didn't fully understand it.

My first close friends in high school had messed up home lives, and as a way of dealing with their pain they were into cutting. They taught me and encouraged me in this as a way to deal with my pain and confusion as well, so cutting was something I did from about 13 on.

I fell in love with a guy and made him my whole world. But my parents don't allow their children to date until the age 18, so there was constant tension in our relationship because we didn't want just a friendship. After a couple of years, he decided he had had enough, and he broke up with me.

Because I had structured my life, and joy, around him-he really was the reason I cared to get up and go to school-I fell apart. I didn't know what to do with myself. So I decided to get drunk. I asked a friend of mine to go with me to a party, and to remain sober, to take care of me. When I woke up in a world of pain the next day I learned the details of the date rape situation where my friend had remained sober, but hadn't cared for me. I was 17, this was the summer before my senior year.

At this point I made a conscious decision to turn my back on God. I quit caring about school and I dropped out of classes needed to be valedictorian. I also quit trusting authority as unbiased because one of my senior class teachers, who was also my soccer coach, quit half way through the school year to try and pursue a relationship with me.

I started dating another guy, and shortly after I graduated I found out I was pregnant. Now, I knew it was a baby, I am the oldest girl in a family of nine, but I intentionally did not think about my decision, and I had an abortion.

After this I was completely dead inside. I moved away to Dallas to continue modeling, I began drinking and doing drugs, and when I was 19 I found out I was pregnant again. I scheduled another abortion.

But God stepped into my life in some amazing ways--that I would love to tell you all about but don't have the time today--and I changed my mind and decided to keep the baby. That baby is now my seven year old daughter, Selah, and she is amazing. I was a single mom for about 3 years, married, and now my husband and I have two more children.

But it was when I first decided to keep Selah, at 19, that I chose to develop my relationship with God. I wanted to know if He was real, and good, I wanted to know if He was Truth. I wanted to be a good Mom, so I began to pray, and read, and develop my relationship with Him. And He is now my Best Friend. And He is real, and good, and He is no imaginary friend. I'm not talking to the air when I pray. No imaginary friend can help with the kind of issues I had.

So though the details of our stories may be very different, this very real God made each and every one of us with some similarities because we are all created in His image.

The first similarity I wanted to discuss with you all is this: we are all created, designed, to know God, and to be fully known by Him.

And I'm sure I won't have to convince you all of this--but there is evil in this world. There are dark powers. You, personally, have an enemy who seeks to steal from you, or to flat out kill you--i.e. by suicide--, and he seeks to destroy you. 

The scripture says that we are destroyed by lack of knowledge.

One of the ways your very real enemy will try to destroy you--is by lack of knowledge. Specifically, he doesn't want you to know God and understand that you are fully known by Him.

One of the key ways that he does this is to convince you that you already do know Him. 

You guys have probably heard a lot of Bible and God related things, since you go to a Christian school. So if you think you already know something, a scripture or a story, it's really easy to tune out. 

I did this. For many years. I thought I knew all about God and so I didn't pay attention. It was when I started reading my Bible on my own, at 19, that I discovered how much I actually did not know.

For example, even though I'd been in a Christian family, and church, and school, I could not even have told you what the ten commandments are. I could have probably told you five of them. And these are commandments that God Himself took the time to write with His own hand. Twice. These are critical expressions of God's character and how He wants me to live and I didn't know them.

Another example... I didn't know what the Bible said eternal life is. There is a very clear definition of what eternal life is, and I didn't know it. If I had been asked about eternal life I would have said something about golden streets and pearly gates and angels and singing--and while these things are descriptive of heaven--they are not eternal life. And quite honestly? I don't really care about those things, my guess is you don't either. They wouldn't be enough to keep me from doing whatever I wanted to do.

But John 17:3 says: Now this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent.

Eternal life is knowing Him. A personal, intimate relationship.

And we can choose to know Him or not, but we are known by Him. He knew us before we were born, He knows our thoughts while they are still far off, He knows when you came in here and sat down and He knows when you will stand up. He knows you fully.

And we are designed this way--to know Him and to be fully known by Him. We are created for intimate relationship. This is what we all seek out. This is what brings us joy, and purpose, and what we structure our lives around.

So if you don't have God as your God--you will have another person in His place. And they will be what brings you joy, and purpose, and what you structure your life around. And if you don't have even another person in that God-place... you will quickly lose interest in life. You will feel increasingly empty and lonely. Every single person works this way. We simply cannot thrive, or sometimes even survive, without intimacy.

I heard a story about some infants at an orphanage. Even though the nurses fed the babies and changed their diapers the infants still continued to die. It was because there were not enough nurses to hold the babies enough, they did not receive enough love, and they couldn't survive without that intimacy. Even from infancy, we are designed to need intimacy.

We are designed to know God, and to be fully known by Him.

And our deceptive enemy wants us to think we know God so he can confuse us and suggest "did God really say?... No. Surely you won't die from that sin...". We need to know specifically what God says is good and best for us so we can identify when we are being lied to and tempted. More than that, we need to know the heart of the One behind the instructions and commands. Because even if we have scripture memorized but don't understand the One who inspired it, we can still be deceived. Satan tried to tempt Jesus this way in the desert. He quoted scripture to Him. And Jesus said "No, no... this is what the scripture really means."

We have to really know Him.

The other characteristic that God put in us all is this: we are designed to give of ourselves. 

I know you all know this scripture: "For God so loved that He gave His only Son..."

He so loved that He gave. He is a Giver. 

And when we willingly give of our time, energy, talents---and I know y'all have heard this one from church---our money... we feel most alive because He made us in His likeness.

Listen, if y'all know someone who remains in an abusive relationship and you just can't understand why... whether that is abusive verbally, emotionally, or physically... these characteristics are key reasons why they're putting up with it. We are designed to know and be known(and there is probably an element of intimacy in that abusive relationship), and we are designed to give of ourselves. There is a God-part of us that even understands that there is a sacrificial element to real love. Satan loves to take these God-designed characteristics and our lack of knowledge and twist us all up.

So. We are designed to know God and be known by Him, and we are designed to give.

And I know it probably gets you guys in trouble, but I personally love how critical you all are. As long as it's expressed in a respectful way. I love that you see something that is messed up and just call it what it is. I love your awareness and tenderness to things being off and wrong.

I know you all see lots of things that are broken and wrong in your families, in your friendships, in this school, in your churches. And you're right. There are lots of things. Please hear me when I say this: God is giving you eyes to see the brokenness to be a part of His plan in fixing it. In making things right.

I don't want you to be deceived into a false sense of waiting. God has good works planned for you this day. He has all your days ordained before one of them comes to be. The scripture says He specifically placed you in this location on the planet at this specific time in history for specific purposes. 

You have a sphere of influence that no one else on the planet has. In your family, with your friends, in this school, in your church. You are a beautifully unique part of God's character with beautifully unique purposes.

And y'all know the church is limping. I'm just suggesting that you may be the lame foot. I'm not calling you lame. I was just seeing if anyone was still listening.

What I'm saying is-- are you asleep? Do you need to wake up to what God has for you this day? To help the body of Christ walk correctly?

Because y'all know that coming to school and having a job to get a higher education to get more money to get more stuff isn't the point to this life. If that's all you let it be, you will feel like these years are wasted. You will be bored. And if you are bored--that is a clear sign you are not living out God's plans for your life.

There is nothing boring about walking with Jesus. 

And I also want to say something to those of you who haven't had any of the life experiences I mentioned, those of you who are maybe called "goody two shoes" and told that you "just can't understand" what you friends are going through because you haven't personally experienced it.

Don't believe that lie.

The exact opposite is true.

The scripture says that it is the fear of the LORD that is the very beginning of knowledge.

And that all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden in Christ.

When I was making wrong choices I didn't even understand my own thoughts and why I was doing what I was doing. Your friends don't either. Darkness is confusing. If you really want to help them, you can only clearly understand what they are going through by choosing right and following God.

So while it's true that you haven't experienced something, it doesn't mean you can't understand it. 

You can only truly understand the darkness from the perspective of the Light. 

Following Christ is what makes sense of all the darkness and suffering and pain.

I've told people: don't envy me the death I've known.

You can know Life without experiencing death.

And it's okay if you don't know how to read your Bible or pray. I didn't. No one is born knowing! We all have to learn. Just like you have gotten to know your friends by another friend, it is really helpful to have someone "introduce" you to God. To show you how to talk with Him and hear from Him. I would be happy to tell you what I do in my quiet time and how I develop my relationship with God if you want to know. Or ask a friend, or and adult you trust, someone you see has a real relationship with Him.

So. You are created to find joy and purpose in life by knowing God and being known by Him. And if you don't have God in that place, you will fill it with someone or lose joy and interest in life. You are designed to give of yourself. Don't buy into a false sense of waiting and waste these years, and know that you can understand life without experiencing death.

I would love to talk with any of you if you have any questions. I know not everyone is comfortable talking about sensitive issues like the ones I've brought up, but if you want to ask me something, just know that I am truly fine with answering questions because my life isn't about me, it's about God, and I'm happy to share about my process to help others.

Thank you for listening to me, it has really been a privilege for me. I hope some of what I said helped!"

Day 29:: Not Being Good Enough

I kneel again, face to the floor, hands cupped upwards and open and I whisper "thank You... thank You..."

I've spent more time on my knees in prayer these past few days than I have in a long time.

My thoughts have been full of these things of God I long to speak into the confused, the distracted, the directionless, the self-loathing... and this is no small privilege. This is no small responsibility.

And if there is any cure for perfectionism? It's serving the Perfect One. 

My desire to be perfect is because I want to please Him. I am told to be holy, set apart... but even my best acts righteousness are filthy rags compared to His perfection and in these times I remember clearly: I am not good enough. I don't have enough to give. I don't know all the answers.  

I word-stumbled and I was awkward and I forgot some things entirely... but, but... He asked me to be willing, to be faithful, to obey, to speak. And I did.

He lovingly reminds me that this is success.

The wildest thing? I hear His applause. I feel His embrace.

This is more than worth all the uncomfortable. Worth more than publicly getting it all right.

And I'm not ashamed. Or afraid. Or weakened.

Because in my great and deep and wide and otherwise overwhelming weakness He shows Himself perfectly strong. 

And I adore Him for it. 


How Great Thou Art!

Day 28:: My Jesus Story Box

She clutches it close, grins wide and bright eyed.

"And then what happens??" She is riveted, giggling in anticipation.

I tell her these tales again and again, she never tires of these stories. But she wants to know, needs to know, to double-check just one more time: " did this happen in real life?"

These are my Jesus stories. These are my stones of remembrance. I keep them in a simple photo box, with His words reminding me what stones are and are not meant for, reminding me to remember.

On our sabbath, Selah and Alexa each pick one or two items, and I tell them the story it represents. 

I can forget so easily.

I don't want to.

So often I have heard and read of stories of amazing things God has done... but I rarely personally know the individual who actually had the experience of God's direction, protection, intervention, vision, or miracle in their life. I have privately asked the question "did this happen in real life?"

In the spring of 2009 I co-led a women's small group at my church through Believing God by Beth Moore. In one section Beth encourages the reader to write down a timeline of notable things God has done in your life, "personal stones of remembrance". This was very helpful to me in many ways. It helped me recall and recognize God's beautiful orchestration in my life. But because I am (at least) as forgetful as the Old-Testament Israelites, I wanted some 3-D reminders of God glorious works in my life. Some tangible "Ebenezer stone". 

 "Here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by Thy help I'm come..."

I actually considered stacking up huge stones. Well, having someone with muscles stack them for me, I'm not exactly known for upper body strength.

But that idea didn't seem very baby friendly. My littlest at the time was nicknamed "baby godzilla" by her adoring and ever-so-patient older sister. The description was quite accurate. I wanted to avoid a miniature Samson episode, so other options had to be explored.

In my experience all children share a certain trait, regardless of personality. Curiosity. When God commanded the Israelites to set up stones as a reminder of the awesome miracle He had just done by cutting off the flow of the river Jordan so they could cross over on dry land, I think God intended the stones to spark the natural curiosity of the Israelite children. I have chosen items in My Jesus Story Box specifically to inspire my children to ask "what do these stones mean?".

Some things that are exposed about me in these stories are not glamorous. In fact, they are down right hideous. But He is the Main Character of these stories, I am not. And He is beautiful all the time. He is the only reason why all the stories have happy endings. I want my children to know Him more that I want to hide my weaknesses. I want them to know He is alive and active and involved in every person's life. Even mine. Even theirs. He is the same miraculous God of old, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

Right now I tell my girls the 7 and 3 year-old appropriate versions of these stories, the depth of the stories will grow as they do. But I pray the Truth about God and His faithfulness to their momma will be the common thread they hold onto from now into adulthood.

Selah also has her own story box with a couple of stones of remembrance. She loves it so much, she is actively looking for Jesus' work in her life so she can add to her box. "He loves us so much, mom! " she says. "He must have done that so we could have this story in our box!...". Now, I need to let Alexa create her own! 

I believe we are hard-wired to love stories. We are part of one, and each one of us has a part that the One and Only considered worth His very life.

What would happen if we all shared our stories, His stories, with one another? 

Might you consider starting your own Jesus Story Box? A place for tangible pieces of evidence of God's hand in your life? We can each witness to what we know of Him, and pass on and recall His faithfulness to our oh-so-forgetful hearts.

"I tell you," he replied," if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out."

Luke 19:40

Let's not miss our opportunities to praise Him. 

Day 27:: Preparation

I was a too-young thirteen when I saw my first official boyfriend on our first official day of "dating" curse rage at his father and punch him senseless on their driveway until his mother peeled him back with pleas, blood and fists forever pounded into my terrified mind.

At fourteen, my best friend and her boyfriend taught me the "safe" way to cut, the safe way to bleed out enough pain without bleeding out life.

Then I fell in "love" for the first time. The obsessive kind. The God-made-in-the-image-of-man kind. I gave him everything, except my virginity, though many friends were giving theirs away.

When he broke up with me, I broke. Tried to drink it away... my first time ever to drink at all. The friend I asked to care for me by remaining sober and looking out for me?... He remained sober, and didn't care for me.

The date rape details were explained the next day, when moving anything was agony and everything was fuzzy. I was 17, the summer before my senior year.



I decided then, a full-out conscious decision, to turn my back on God and intentionally walk away from everything He said was good.

Senior year, I quit. I quit classes that were necessary to be valedictorian. I quit saying no to boys I'd said no to for years. I quit calling myself a Christian. I quit believing stability in life existed. An amazing Christian friend's parent committed suicide. Another's parent lost her fight with cancer. I quit believing in unbiased authority when one of my teachers, ten years my senior,  left his position at the school to officially declare his intense interest in me. I quit denying the names my brother labeled me.

This is just a scratch on the surface that was my high school experience. This was all before 18.



There were good things too...

... a poetry club with two faithful friends, girls who have two of the best kind of contagious laughter I've ever heard.

... a history class study-buddy who shared her notes and pencils and heart with me and together we survived with joy the "toughest" class in high school.

... there were school plays and soccer tournaments and basketball and class video-projects and missions trips and youth group and loving teachers and I had(still have!)prayerful, patient, Christ-like parents.  

But if I'm being honest, my high school experience was overwhelmingly pain-filled. Conflict-filled. Confusion-filled.

This Monday, the 29th, sometime around 9 in the morning, I will be the guest speaker at the chapel session for that same school I graduated from.

God is still a God of miracles. And He has a fabulous sense of humor.

I've been thinking and praying about what I would have needed to hear during those years. I've been asking Him what He wants to say through me. He is preparing me, as I am sure He is preparing them.

I have known no service for Christ that has not required intense preparation. And this preparation requires intense focus on Him. This is all about His story, His plans, His character.

I'll be sharing my speaker notes sometime soon after, your prayers would be a great blessing to me.

Day 26:: Simplify!

Sometimes, when I'm rotating the laundry for about the seventh time, something inside me snaps and I drop everything else I had planned for the next hours and just start shoving stuff into bags to donate.

I wonder: How can we even have this much stuff?? How does it get in the house? It must sneak in while we're sleeping or the kids must carry it in secretively stuffed underneath their shirts or in their bags...

Too much stuff makes me distracted, frustrated, anxious, and exhausted.

I mentioned Tsh before. If you need help simplifying and organizing so stuff doesn't take over your life and dictate your time, which is your most precious treasure, I highly recommend following her blog and reading her book Organized Simplicity. It helps you think through every room in your house, and how to determine what to keep, and what to let go, and why. The why is important... because otherwise the space we spend time and effort clearing will just accumulate more stuff.

Are you a Stuff Manager? Read this blog by the Nester to find out. It's hilarious. And true.

And remember when I was talking about learning to say no, and that focus is as much about what you don't see as what you do see? This is a great place for simplicity and organization to come in. Simplicity in your home-caretaking, intentionality in your budget, more freedom with your time.

And this verse? It helps me think through which items I need to have responsibility caring for, cleaning, "carrying" in this one race I'm trying to run well.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."
Hebrews 12:1

 throw off everything that hinders... 



*Day 26 of 31 Days to Focus. Only 5 days left. Time flies!*

Day 25:: How to Have Complete Joy

Now choose life...
~Duet. 30:19

I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live...
~John 11:15

... obey my commands so that My joy may be in you, and your joy may be complete!
~John 15:11

Always give thanks to God the Father for everything...
~Ephesians 5:20


I choose an obedient perspective of thankfulness in everything= I choose the Life and His complete joy.

One whispered "thank You..." at a time.



*If you'd like to see the other posts in this 31 Days of Things that Help me Focus on Christ... simply click here!*

Day 24:: Setting the Example of Debt Free Living

She lays down among lavender, polka dots, and pink and asks for love as is nap time routine: "can I snuggle with your hair?"

I lean closer and she smiles sweet satisfaction holding gently this extension of me. 

I look at her soft curving cheeks, ivory and cream, and how her eyelashes curl up in copper-tinted layers of praise. I love her ski-jump nose and her widows peak, and how all the baby hairs along it shine purest gold. 

Then I remember it, and search for it, asking her to look towards the light washing in from the window. And there it is, just to the left of the black, standing out in all her ocean blue, her one little island eye-freckle.

She glances back at me and reflects my grin and settles happy in her sleepy face. 

I stroke her blonde wisps and smile adoration. My thoughts leave her eye-freckle-island to the lunch remnants that needs to be put away, the dishes and crumbs and words that need working, and nap time is precious and rare and limited. "I'll stay with you one more minute, okay?"

She grins bursting light and boldly requests, all fingers of her right hand outstretched, "five more minutes?"

Her island shimmers so I nod her joy complete and stay and watch as waves of sleepy wash it out of sight behind eyelids heavy and sweet. 

I stay, caressing the soft chub of her hand, not so baby anymore, but growing evermore long and lean.

And the words of a king, a man after God's own heart, pound in my spirit because my hand has long been clenched, but I see it now as it rests, open. 

"I will not offer sacrifices to the Lord that cost me nothing."

These little girls often ask me for love now and I too often reply "later... in a few minutes... tomorrow... maybe next week..."

They know later costs me nothing. They know my now is treasured. 

I don't move my hand. 

Now is all I have to offer, all I have to give. This time is all I can spend. How I spend my time is how I spend my treasure. 

And where my treasure is... 

I feel the cost of spending my time-treasure at nap time, after bed time... every second bearing increasing weight as the cost stacks high and irretrievable. Once a moment is gone it is spent and can never be spent again. 

My heart is in my hand. I see the unspeakable wealth of these precious, rare, limited moments being intentionally given, given, given ... and isn't this the only way to save any life at all? 

I tuck her under soft colored cotton and He speaks it to me gently because He knows it pierces deep: you have been teaching your children to live a lifestyle of love-debt.

You try to spend what you don't have. 

In the name of patience and responsibility and what is necessary I regularly assure, offer, promise tomorrow-time, later-time that isn't guaranteed. 

"I'll read you that chapter later... I'll come play in a few minutes... maybe we can do that next week..."

I assume I'll have the time and often don't. 

The love-debt adds up and my soul feels the weight. 

Debt is a burden I don't want to pass on. I want to teach my children to spend their precious treasure wisely and cheerfully and selflessly without assuming they know what will happen tomorrow. 

Tomorrow cannot be borrowed and therefore costs me nothing. That is why I so readily offer it. 

The children know this. I see them watching, learning from me.

I will not offer sacrifices to the Lord that cost me nothing.

God so loved that He gave... 

This is the sacrifice I long to give. I sit long and hold her hand. 

Now. Spent. As worship. 

And the more I give away, the wealthier I become. 

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship."

~Romans 12:1

Day 23:: Call him what he is.

I walk up the stairs heavy, feet dragging the wounded heart to bed.

Tomorrow is going to be a failure, too. 

I lay down in all the pressing dark that won't even allow tears to come, the ache dammed up inside.

I just want to give up. I just want to quit. 

This despair has been loud and constant. I fight against the choking with flabby, failing strength.

I groan myself over to my side, pull up the soft comforter around all that's cutting deep. I whisper cry out to the One strong enough to give Himself up, Who allowed Himself pierced because He loves. What manner of love is this? You are my strength when I am weak. When I am weak, You show Yourself strong. Please be my strength, I am at the end of me.

And the questions pound in the dark and again when I wake and as I cook and clean and correct and school under all this weight crushing me into a spirit-breaking mold : Do I really want this? This daily, daily, daily cross bearing? Do I really want to follow? 

I could walk away.

I could walk away.

I could walk away.


I turn and face the Evil One that has bored into my heart with poisonous drip that suggests, suggests, suggests the ending of this hour, this day, this struggle, this relationship, my life.

I speak the truth that sets me free: You lie.

 You are a liar. Accuser. Deceiver. There is no truth in you.

I know Who I have trusted and He is faithful. 

I know where the path to the place of crucifixion leads: to the feet of my Love whose wounds heal my diseases of apathy, self-pity, self-brutality. His stripes strike down the time-miser in me. I know the power of the resurrection. I know that same Spirit lives in me and burns 
Joy deeper than the deepest dross and I know the future He has for me.

He will come for me. He will take me home, a place He personally prepared especially for me, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

We live happily ever after. That's the end of my story.

That is my story now.

Truth rescues me.







*If you'd like to see the other days of this 31 Day series, you can click here. Thank you for being a witness to His love and faithfulness in my life.*

Day 22:: Persistence

Today, I've been fighting discouragement. 

The kind that presses down so hard and heavy that I didn't want to get out of bed. 

Prayer has been my oxygen. 

I am so grateful my neediness never overwhelms God. 

He doesn't get tired of hearing the weight of my mind. 

He encourages me to persist. 

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

“For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’”

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

~Luke 18:1-8

Have you been tempted to just give up lately? How does this parable of persistence being rewarded encourage you? 

*this is day 22 of a series called "31 Days to Focus". If you'd like to see the other posts, simply click over here to the landing page.*

Day 21:: Writing That Matters

The Word has written letters to this world full of the broken and lonely... the discouraged, angry, and cruel.

We are these letters. 




I am a letter from Christ to my extended family, my friends, my classmates, my co-workers, my spouse, my children, my enemies. What does He want to communicate to them through me?



"The only words that matter are the ones I live."
~Ann Voskamp

Is His message coming through, or am I scrambling it with mine?

I pray to live out what He has written. This is the writing that matters.

Day 20:: A Mission Statement

It is so easy to forget why we make the choices we do, who we want to be, what goals we are running towards.

I first read in depth about family purpose statements, or mission statements, through Tsh. She's quite brilliant. She helped me to organize my brain via her lovely book Organized Simplicity.

So the husband and I took one of her suggestions... create a purpose statement to help focus time, energy, resources. We talked over the list of questions provided in her book, and framed the fruit of our conversations.



Some day, I may ask Red Letter Words to create a beautiful custom canvas with our statement on it. But for now, framed printing paper works just fine.

For us, the process of talking together and developing a family mission statement was both amazingly fun and focusing.



Do you have a personal or family mission statement?

Day 19:: Recognizing an Overflowing Cup

These are the days of reminding "we only draw on paper". Where my command and control buttons are scribbled all over.

These are the days of diapers and pull ups, all day being meal time, massive creative messes, laundry, and picking it all up again and again. And again.

These are the days of taste testing everything.
















But... these are also the days of answering to "Moooooom! Help please!!", where the things that are tangled I can easily untie.

These are the days that her simply holding my hair and being by my side are sought after comforts.












These are the days of discovering love made just for me.

These days, I am the guest of honor for every tea party, I have front row seats to every play.

These are the days I am their beloved Queen.


























My cup is not half empty or half full... it overflows.

It overflows.

Recognizing this... focuses me on Him.

How have you noticed God's love, greatness, and goodness in the midst of all the messy of your life lately? 

*this is day 19 of a 31 Day series of things that help me focus on Christ. If you'd like to see the other posts hop over to this page.*