My 7 Year Old Daughter's Monologue on Technology, Contentment, Why People Do What They Do, and Other Thoughts

She challenges me in the best ways.



So today, she wanted some "mother-daughter time". Because she wanted to tell me some things she is passionate about and has been thinking about. She told me she wished she could share these thoughts with teenagers and adults because she wants to know what they think about these things, too. After about a minute I sat down with a pen and paper and just tried to keep up with the stream of words that were rushing out in this convicted torrent, full of richness I don't know that she yet fully comprehends.

So here you go. I have edited some portions where she mentioned specific people, other than those changes, these are 100% her thoughts, her specific phrasing.

By Selah. 7 years old.

" I feel like all our privileges are making things worse for our culture. Because people are always wanting to do things the easiest way. But I feel like the easiest way isn't usually the best way.
I feel like people just want to take shortcuts--like on their chores and responsibilities--so they can get on to having fun...

... I also feel bad for animals. We keep cutting down trees, and taking their territory. And people need to stop littering. Like, in all the spaces in between buildings, there is litter. I wish people would take responsibility for their things. I also want to help clean up and help with animals who are hurt by oil spills... what I like about cleaning is this: cleaning is good for thinking.   

Sometimes, I get so angry with people and technology. I just want to destroy technology sometimes. Because it's not good people when they begin zoning out of real life things that are good for them like reading books and spending time outside and with people they love and with God. Like, have you noticed when we go to the park how we are often the only ones there? Unless someone is walking their dog. That is a reason why I love animals. They distract you from technology and help you focus on real life...

Here's my point: we don't need life to be the "easiest" way. People aren't thinking about God. They just care about life being easier on themselves when they're sucked into technology. They don't always want what is better for them--they just want what feels better... feels easier.

Because people don't want to feel pain. They don't actually have to be happy, they just want to feel happy. They do things because they think "I just want to feel nice." And when people are like this, they aren't really thinking about others. About what others might need or want. All they are thinking is "what do I want?"

They don't need anything from technology and other things that make them feel good. But they call them needs. They aren't needs, those are wants. 

When I go into a house without a TV I think "thank you for not having a TV!" Now don't get me wrong, I like watching TV sometimes. I don't think there is anything wrong with watching a movie every once in a while. It's when you become addicted to it that it starts not being good for you.

I read a lot of books. And you know how in the stories there is always an evil person, or being, or force or something that is trying to suck people in and get control? Trying to have power over the people? I feel like that is what happens with technology. 

I mean, watching one movie isn't bad but when you want to watch another one and another one and another one--that starts being bad for you. Because the problem is this: then what you are watching is what you start thinking and feeling is important. And all the other natural and real life things just get blown right out of your mind!

And then people start thinking about wanting more, more, more! That's something that really frustrates me. People get something, and then think "I want more!" A lot of people are never content. You know?

Probably every kid has thought this stuff too, but they take it lightly because they like TV and so they want to watch it too.

And how some people treat holidays--they bother me too. Like Christmas. CHRIST-mas. I mean, come on! And on Easter and other holidays... it's just sad. It can be all about candy, candy, candy and gifts and I like those things but that's not love. Those holidays are about love. 

But about the technology... I say people should take one week off, and see all the exciting things they're missing. And if they still think I'm wrong, then they should take another week off. Because the first week they'd just be straining to get back to the technology, but the second week they might begin to realize what they're missing. 

I think about the books I read about people from a long time ago. They didn't even have electricity. And we're tough. We don't need this stuff. It makes life easier in a lot of ways and I'm not saying electricity is bad... I'm just saying, we don't need it. And these things that make life easier can be bad for you if you think you can't live without them and if you're addicted to them."


I look forward to hearing your thoughts, friends!

What Daughters are Aching to See Their Moms LIVE

Dear Daughter,

I've had these words pounding in my heart for you. I've spoken many of these things directly to you in the last few days. But I know that the ache I feel, and why these words won't go away, is because if I am painfully honest I'm not always living these truths out.

So. I mean this public declaration to be a God-honoring way of drawing a line in the sand.

I want you to know, in the deepest parts of your growing woman-child heart, that I am not too busy for you.

I want you to talk with me. I want to hear your thought processes. I want you to know that I care about what is important to you. I want you to know that I don't take your fears and concerns lightly and you can always come to me for the comfort of my arms in the dark. I will never belittle you for your fears.

I need you to know that I would never trade a spotless house for you. When we watched HGTV together while I was sick it broke my heart to hear you wondering aloud if you should agree with some of what those on-air said about children and adult space. Your eyes were tender and silently searched mine to see if I agreed with them. I need you to know that I would never trade having extra space, or stuff, or money, or time, or energy instead of having you and your sisters. Not even on the  wildest day. 







I need you to know I don't consider you a burden, some difficult phase of life to "make it past". I know you've heard people, me, talk so often about the difficulties of raising kids. I know you're an amazing listener and you quietly absorb it all like a sponge and sometimes when you just can't hold anymore it squeezes out the corners of your eyes in the dark, when it's just me and you and you whisper that you're really, truly, trying to be good. My darling, you are good. So good. I need you to know that you are one of the best gifts God has ever given me and I don't ever, ever, want to "make it past" you. At any stage. I love you and like you no matter what phase we are growing through.  







And I want you to know that I am going to be intentional, from here on out, about when I look at any kind of screen. I want to set the example of self-control and God-centered priorities for you.

I need you to know that you are a far more precious investment to me than my work. Work is good and a God-gift to us and we are designed to spend much of our lives serving in different ways... But in everything I do, everything, I am simply an investor of things that belong to God. My time, my energy, my skills,  my financial resources, my body, my everything belongs to Him. And I pray I am being wise with what He gives.

And you... You are His daughter. And miracle upon miracle He is sharing you with me for a little while and I cannot even begin to express how very precious you are to me. I pray I invest in you in such a way that is worthy of the King's daughter.

And yes, I will snuggle with you as long as you like. I will read you that chapter and blow bubbles until I'm out of breath. I will teach you to bake and it truly is ok when you get excited and stir flour out all over the counter. Messes are often wonderful teachers and Grace is the most wonderful of all.

Thank you for how much grace you have with me, for how easily you forgive my many messes. Thank you for teaching me so much about God, and life, and friendship, and forgiveness, and prayer, and art, and being brave, and perseverance, and how to play and rest and lighten up and laugh.

I can't tell you how many times I look at you and think she is so beautiful. And you know what I've told you since you first began learning language: no one can be beautiful because of what they look like on the outside. They can be very physically attractive but if they are soul-ugly they will never be beautiful. Beauty is only, always, how much we are like Christ. And you, my daughter, are beautiful.


You are beautiful.

I love you with all my heart.

Mom

One of the Most Mature Things a Dad can Do

He told me in the quiet and dark, how he feels it, this weight to lead-well his four girls that he loves so much.

He carries a lot on those handsomely-squared shoulders.





And I watch him write out checks to pay bills and I watch him sweep up crumbs and I watch him bow his head in prayer and ask God again, again, again to make him a good leader. A mature man.

But it's this one thing that he does that I want there to be a whole mandatory leadership conference about. This one thing that boys need to be told is just as important to daddy-hood as being a warrior-protector and faithful-lover and humble-prayer.

Play. 







They watch him clap and they watch him silently climb the outside of the hollow red-slide and howl laughter at being discovered and they are  learning mountains about his faith. He is able to enjoy life and they soak up this part of God in him.







It takes a lot of maturity to play.