So, as my conversations with God develop, build on each other, I feel like He is getting more... pointed.
Sharper than a double-edged sword.
He's been showing me how much of the Bible I have been reading as if it was written for others. I had no idea I was doing that.
The parts about divorce... adultry... demon possession... etc. etc. ... I read those portions of scriptures with other people in mind. Because I am not directly dealing with any of those issues currently, it made sense to me to think of others who are faced with such things and pray for them according to scripture.
Yes. And no.
In practicing this direct conversation journaling, I have found myself not wanting to write down and respond to some of the scripture as if it was written for me. To me.
To me.
I am slowly coming to realize, and accept, that the scriptures are a
God-breathed love letter to
me, for teaching
me, rebuking
me, correcting
me and training
me in righteousness.
He is teaching me to listen to the points behind these stories told, even and especially what I don't feel directly applies to my life, and helping me to not be so literal. He has great patience with me. I identify so much with his disciples who after He explains something to them(and they totally miss the point) He says:
Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: “Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don’t you remember?
~Mark 8:17-18
Taking scripture personally has severely wounded my pride. I pray it is a fatal blow.
Another Conversation with God:
(from my journal on February 24th, 2011)
*Scriptures read follow, sections of conversation are highlighted*
Lord, I hear You saying...
Sin is more devestating than you can possibly imagine. If you cause a little one to sin, it would be better for you to be dragged down by your neck and drowned in the sea. I know you view that as a horrible death, but believe Me when I say that the sin you tolerate as "not a big deal" is worse. If any part of your physical body is causing you to sin-you need to cut that sin out of your life. Gouge it out. Chop it off. Drastic measures are necessary.
Everyone will be salted with fire.
You, will be salted with fire.
I am a consuming fire because I love you and I want you for my own. I withhold no good thing from you.
I am a refining fire, bringing to the surface all that is in your heart that makes you impure. You will see Me when you are pure in your heart. You become pure by living according to My word. Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds, because the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. I withhold no good thing from you.
Salt is good. It preserves what would otherwise perish. You are preserved through fire. The consuming fire that comes from my mouth-my words. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. I will be with you.
Not all tests will be trials. I also test your heart by the praise you receive.
Lord, hear me saying...
Please help me to not falter in times of trouble, I pray to persevere and become mature. I know I am in strict training. What sin(s) do I need to take drastic measures with?
Lord, I hear You saying...
Gluttony. Self-control. Do not crave the delicacies that are eaten by rulers in this world, that food is deceptive. You will become poor and drowsiness will clothe you in rags.
Lord, hear me saying...
Please help me to obey You. I struggle with eating more than what I need... and with eating poorly. I am sure you are right that this contributes to my drowsiness, and I'm sure funds could be used in wiser ways. Please help me to build my house with wisdom, and establish it through understanding. Please help me use the knowledge You've given me to fill it with rare and beautiful treasures, including the food we eat. Help me to not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life. Help me to listen to You, and eat what is good, so my soul will delight in the richest of fare.
Salt is good. Thank You for letting me know in very clear language that I can expect, that I will be salted by fire. Preserve me, refine me, consume me however you see fit. I know you will withhold no good thing from me.
Scriptures Read/Brought to Mind:
Mark 9:42-50
“And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck. If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, where
“‘their worm does not die,
and the fire is not quenched.’
Everyone will be salted with fire.
“Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other.”
Duet. 4:24
For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.
Malachi 3:2
But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner's fire or a launderer's soap.
Matt. 5:8
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Psalm 119:9
How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Psalm 84:11
For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.
2 Samuel 22:9
Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
~Isaiah 43:2
Proverbs 17:3
The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but the LORD tests the heart.
Proverbs 27:21
The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but man is tested by the praise he receives.
Proverbs 24:10
If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!
Proverbs 23:1-3
When you sit to dine with a ruler,
note well what is before you,
and put a knife to your throat
if you are given to gluttony.
Do not crave his delicacies,
for that food is deceptive.
Proverbs 23:21
for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.
Proverbs 24:3-4
By wisdom a house is built,
and through understanding it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are filled
with rare and beautiful treasures.
"Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval."
~John 6:27
Isaiah 55:2
Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
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