She stands there, hands on her hips, looking into the other room and out the windows and nowhere, really. I can see her thoughts trying to drag her off, pulling in different directions.
There's no denying it: I am my mother's daughter.
It's early morning, and some are still sleeping, but to-do lists are unfeeling things that begin their nagging abuse some days before the eyes have even opened.
She looks my way, smiles at me. I smile back at her twinge of sleepiness that made her lips curl slow and gentle.
I place a fluffy bagel, warm-toasted and buttered, on a plate and begin to slather a generous layer of cream cheese. "Mom... come and have breakfast first."
She still stands, her expression an amused question.
I continue. "I can tell you're thinking about the million things you have to do... all the things you need and want to do..." I pour smoothie into mugs, place one of the table for her, one for me. "... but come and have breakfast first."
She gives her little Mom-laugh and sighs a surrender and comes to the table. "I'm just not sure where to begin."
I nod as I fork the sage-seasoned sausages in the toaster oven and slip them next to the bagel halves. "I know. I feel like that most days. But I read something interesting this morning...
... I read about when Jesus kept asking Peter if he loved Him, and telling Peter to feed and take care of His lambs, how He was telling Peter to follow Him and about how Peter would die bringing glory to God. And Peter asked Jesus if John would die serving Him, too. Jesus told Him not to focus on that, but that he must follow Him regardless of what He asked of others."
Mom nods, listening, absorbing.
"But do you know what Jesus said to Peter first?... before He told Peter to serve others as love for Him and to follow Him and that he would die for Him?... First He said 'come and have breakfast.'" I smile right into her beautiful eyes, two to-do lists addicts slowing down for nourishment first.
Mom laughs, nods, sips smoothie slowly, and we embrace and enjoy this ordinary, extraordinary grace of communion at the table while the sun is rising higher.
I tell her I'm so comforted that He knows all about long nights full of disappointment.
He knows how to provide everything we need and more than what we hoped, and not tear everything apart in the process. He doesn't ignore or belittle our physical needs that He gave us.
He will talk to us about serving Him and others... I just love that it was after they had finished eating that He began this conversation with Peter. Sometimes I just need to remember to "come and have breakfast" first.
I can forget that communion with Him is the ultimate goal on my to-do list.
So before running ragged and trying to get beyond the feeling of treading water but getting nowhere... sit with Him? Eat and talk with Him?
The days are long and life is hard and we can not live by bread alone but sometimes eating some bread can help a lot. Both kinds of nourishment are from His hands.
Come and have breakfast.
And if you don't have it in you? You don't have anything to offer? He calls you friend. He knows your condition. He will supply everything needed. He just says "come".
What about you, friend? Have you found that taking care of your physical needs makes you more able to serve Christ? Are you ever tempted to skip essential things like eating, sleeping, etc. because you feel hounded by a to-do list?