When You Are Grieving

I could barely walk in the house. Some weeks, some days, some conversations are crushing.

As soon as I came through the door my 16 month old toddles up, arms outstretched, pleading "Mama! Mama!...Up pease... up pease" with increasing desperation.

I scoop her up, enfold her close. My desperation increases. I silently sway, praying "Oh God, baby... baby... baby..."

Baby lays still, short arms the span of my shoulders, sweet head resting under quivering chin.

Mom comes up, eyes tender, she doesn't have to know details, she could see me grieving from across the house.

Her eyes brim. "You're holding your baby, can I hold mine?" Arms wrap hearts close. So much is said in silence.

It all spills and I ache for all that is lost, sin that stains permanent, and I whisper to her... to Him "I just want to go home..."

He holds me, grieving too.

I'm counting as many moments as I can, here and now, because here is where He has planted me, and here I will blossom until He moves me. And who knows what seeds tears water?

All this pain... Could all that is lost ever be found?... Could a garden come up from this ground... at all? He makes beautiful things out of the dust.

I only deepen the wound of the world when I neglect to give thanks.

~Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

Singing a hard hallelujah... hands outstretched as high as these gangly long arms can reach. He reaches down, holds my hands, never lets go.

Sing with me?

Counting all as grace...

#236 finally, heavy eyelids

#237 encouraging words from California

#238 parents who model Christ-love, even through rejection, suffering, death

#239 Christ's love, even through being disrespected, ignored, stiff-armed

#240 lounging on the couch in full sun

#241 Husband laughing tears as the baby keeps trying to lick the chapstick he was attempting to put on her

#242 chubby little arms that perfectly fit around grown-up necks

#243 countless "I love Mom I love Dad I love Alexa I love God I love Jesus I love cats" notes everywhere, everyday, all day

#244 sister time

#245 picture of my first baby (coming soon)

#256 Husband back home safely

#257 friend sharing heart-breaking new because she still wanted to share her heart... so grateful

#258 a Mom-hug

#259 Hallelujah

#260 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted

#261 My heart is spoken for

Count with us and enter His gates, a thousand times, more?...

When There Aren't Enough Tears for All That Needs to be Cried About

I collapse exhausted into His loving arms, ever strong, ever steady.

I whisper Truth...

"You give beauty for ashes... gladness instead of mourning... a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair..."

Heart aches. The wailing grief too deep to surface loud. "Oh LORD, my family... my friends."

I speak it in faith over their futures, over mine, over yours.

"They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.

Instead of their shame, they will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs."

Who the Son sets free, is free indeed.

And He is not willing that any should perish.

"Your promises have been thoroughly tested, and your servant loves them."

~Ps. 119:140

A Much Needed Conversation

This conversation God spoke to me during my quiet time on Monday was so beautifully, perfectly orchestrated for what He knew I would desperately need this week. I love how He does that.

I included all the scriptures before the conversation so you would not need to look them up, but could see that nearly all of the dialogue is word-for-word scripture.

The Scriptures read/brought to mind:

Mark 9:14-32

Proverbs 21

Mark 9:14-32(NIV) *emphasis mine*

When they came to the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and the teachers of the law arguing with them. ¹⁵ As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him.

¹⁶ “What are you arguing with them about?” he asked.

¹⁷ A man in the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. ¹⁸ Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.”

¹⁹ “O unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.”

²⁰ So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.

²¹ Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?”

“From childhood,” he answered. ²² “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

²³ “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”

²⁴ Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

²⁵ When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the impure spirit. “You deaf and mute spirit,” he said, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.”

²⁶ The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, “He’s dead.” ²⁷ But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.

²⁸ After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”

²⁹ He replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer.”

³⁰ They left that place and passed through Galilee. Jesus did not want anyone to know where they were, ³¹ because he was teaching his disciples. He said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men. They will kill him, and after three days he will rise.” ³² But they did not understand what he meant and were afraid to ask him about it.

Proverbs 21(NIV) *emphasis mine*

1 The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD;

he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases.

2All a man’s ways seem right to him,

but the LORD weighs the heart.

3To do what is right and just

is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.

4Haughty eyes and a proud heart,

the lamp of the wicked, are sin!

5The plans of the diligent lead to profit

as surely as haste leads to poverty.

6A fortune made by a lying tongue

is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare.

7The violence of the wicked will drag them away,

for they refuse to do what is right.

8The way of the guilty is devious,

but the conduct of the innocent is upright.

9Better to live on a corner of the roof

than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

10The wicked man craves evil;

his neighbor gets no mercy from him.

11When a mocker is punished, the simple gain wisdom;

when a wise man is instructed, he gets knowledge.

12The Righteous One takes note of the house of the wicked

and brings the wicked to ruin.

13If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor,

he too will cry out and not be answered.

14A gift given in secret soothes anger,

and a bribe concealed in the cloak pacifies great wrath.

15When justice is done, it brings joy to the righteous

but terror to evildoers.

16A man who strays from the path of understanding

comes to rest in the company of the dead.

17He who loves pleasure will become poor;

whoever loves wine and oil will never be rich.

18The wicked become a ransom for the righteous,

and the unfaithful for the upright.

19Better to live in a desert

than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.

20In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil,

but a foolish man devours all he has.

21He who pursues righteousness and love

finds life, prosperity and honor.

22A wise man attacks the city of the mighty

and pulls down the stronghold in which they trust.

23He who guards his mouth and his tongue

keeps himself from calamity.

24The proud and arrogant man—“Mocker” is his name;

he behaves with overweening pride.

25The sluggard’s craving will be the death of him,

because his hands refuse to work.

26All day long he craves for more,

but the righteous give without sparing.

27The sacrifice of the wicked is detestable—

how much more so when brought with evil intent!

28A false witness will perish,

and whoever listens to him will be destroyed forever.

29A wicked man puts up a bold front,

but an upright man gives thought to his ways.

30 There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan

that can succeed against the LORD.

31The horse is made ready for the day of battle,

but victory rests with the LORD.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

~John 15:5

9“Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

~Matthew 7:9-11

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

~Phil. 4:8

The Conversation:

"LORD, I hear You saying...

Everything is possible if you believe. Even if you have been struggling with something from childhood. Even if it is attempting to drown you, burn you, kill you. I AM the One that commands it to come out of you and never enter you again. Apart from Me you can do nothing. There is a kind of spirit that makes you unable to hear and unable to speak that comes out only by prayer. Why, when you ask me for things, do you say 'if you can'? If your children ask you for bread, will you give them a stone? How much more will I give good gifts to you if you ask Me! There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against Me. The victory rests with Me.

LORD, hear me saying...

I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief! I ask you now to please command out of my heart and mind all the lies that have been seizing me since childhood about who I am and who You are. I ask that You would never let them enter me again so I will not be unable to hear You or unable speak about You/with You. Please help me to think on things that are lovely, true, praiseworthy. Thank You that You weigh my heart, that it is safe is Your kind redeeming hands, that You direct me like a watercourse wherever You please. Please help me to guard my mouth and give thought to my ways. Thank You that the victory rests with You!

When it is Hard to Spend Time with God

I wrote last week that I would share each Wednesday how God is teaching me to talk with Him, to hear Him. Hearing God speak is wrecking my world. Not all wrecks end up being bad things.

I currently hesitate every time before I sit down to have my time with Him, to ask Him to speak, to ask to listen. Because He is re-arranging everything I compulsively set just so in my life.

I struggle because I know if I ask, and because I deeply do want to hear, He will speak... and it is much harder to ignore Him once I have heard Him.

Oh, the conflict.

Why am I more comfortable cleaning dirty diapers, and preparing meal after meal, and chipping away at my never-ending to-do list than full-out, hard-stop stilling for the Word?

Because our God is not a God of disorder, but of peace.

And He has very different definitions of what is disorderly, and what brings peace.

He is a God of order, down to mind-blowing specifications, running and ruling over a detail oriented universe.

But I still live the words I dare not say out loud: I am so grateful You have it all together, so thankful You are sovereign over all this mess... just don't mess with my stuff... my time, my energy, my priorities, my to-do list, my plans for today. Don't ask me to stop working and simply enjoy being with You... I don't know how to do that.

And because it is a real relationship that develops over time spent together, our conversations have gone deeper than when I first began dialoging with God.

The first time I sat down to write out "LORD, I hear You saying..." and "LORD, hear me saying..." in my journal, it was a very short conversation... it was more like saying "hi! How are you? Good, I'm good too..." in passing at church and then not "hearing" from the individual again until the next week.

I had written what was going on in life, prayer requests, my thoughts... but there wasn't much listening and responding to His words to me. I wanted to listen, and was trying to... I just didn't know how to. I am much better at talking. I've practiced it more.

Here is what I wrote:

(from November 15th-one week after we had moved into our townhome)

"LORD, I hear you saying...

Set your heart and mind on things above.

Col.3

LORD, hear me saying...

How do I decide on what to buy for our home?"

I know there were more prayers, thoughts, responses in my mind at the time... but because I didn't do the hard, time consuming work of writing it out... they are lost to me now.

"Finding time" to fully devote myself to sitting at the feet of the One who gives me every moment of time sounds ridiculous... but it is difficult.

I am also being taught that "legitimate" reasons to stop and to be still will always, always, always be there... regardless of what stage of life I am in.

I want to run this race in such a way as to get the prize, to have a crown that will last(the cleaning?... that sure does not last). I am being taught this requires strict training.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

~1 Cor. 9:24-27

Spending consistent time with God requires preparation, flexibility, and perseverance. Three things I am terrible at... but training in.

My training muscles are sore, tired, stretched.

But the reward?...

You will hear The Most High speak to you about you, about Him, about life. And you will be blessed in what you do.

And I am no longer a woman who looks at myself in the mirror of His word and, after going away, immediately forget what I look like(pretty quickly, still, sometimes... but not as immediately). I am remembering more what He speaks to me. It lasts. I pray by His strength I continue to do this.

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does."

~James 1:22-25

I will post another journal conversation with God a bit later today... I thought this would be the beginning of my conversation post this week, and it grew. Shocking, I know.

If You are Struggling with Identity: Who You were Really Born to Be

**Please Note: Dear Reader, today's post has some straightforward language about abortion, so please read on prayerfully prepared, or feel free to skip down to the numbered list of thanks...**

She is pleasant and professional and says she needs to confirm my driver's license number before she can release my medical records, and the ultrasound picture I have requested. Brooke, from Planned Parenthood, explains that she can't really compare my signature since my last name has changed since marriage.

Of course, no problem, one moment please.

I quietly, quickly walk downstairs into the loud children's music, sound waves crashing over my sensitive heart, grab my wallet and read off the numbers as I re-ascend the steps.

It feels so surreal.

I am talking to a real person, from a real abortion clinic, and they have a real record proving that I was really there once upon a time... the me with a different name.

She confirms my identity. "Ok great... now I want to warn you... it may not be a great picture. They used microfilm back then so it will probably look like the negative of a film picture, it may not be very clear."

I swallow hard at the dry in my mouth. "I understand. I know it may not be a great picture, but if it's a picture of my baby, any picture, I still would like to have it."

I know my request is not a typical one. How many women call seven years after their abortion to ask to see the ultrasound picture of the child they loved less than self? To see the body from the last moments of wholeness?

When I had first spoken to a receptionist and asked this, my heart was pumping blood into head so light I could barely hear her response of silence followed by a confused ".... hold, please."

I was put on hold several times. You want what? I could hear the unspoken WHY?

Because, that picture is the only black and white evidence of the child who has so wrecked my heart with love for him/her... for the unborn... for my children... for the lonely, wounded, lost, labeled, those being led away to slaughter of body and soul... for the pierced, bloody hands of Him who took death away from me after I had invited it in.

Yes, I request it as soon as possible, please.

Brooke continues in her kind tone "well, would you like to have it mailed to you, or would you like to come in and pick it up?"

I could throw up. I don't remember the way back there. That small building that took several hundred dollars and my first child. I don't remember the date, or people's faces, or thinking much at all.

I do remember not being able to swallow the pain medication, and the not being able to have the stronger meds that would knock me out during the surgery because I had gone alone, and needed to be able to drive home. The nurses urging me to try again, offering concerned suggestions, but I simply could not swallow any experience-numbing pill down.

I do remember feeling the tugging, tearing, cramping... womb clinging tight to all that was meant to be held. The life being sucked out of me, gone in a few aching moments. I remember the silent bleeding.

Could I bear walking back into the place that dismembered my sweet child as a choice wisely made, a problem solved?

No, I stand still, clinging white-knuckled to Him who gave me a sound mind, hope and a future, please just mail it to me.

"Okay, it will probably be sent out on Monday..."

Monday, the day my loved ones celebrate my birth. The day 26 years ago my parents named me "dedicated to the LORD".

I haven't always been.

I will grieve for my child my whole life.

I KNOW and accept that I am forgiven, but that does not remove the scarring consequences of sin.

But He, the One who is redeeming my days, He love-whispers confirmation of my true identity.

I wear it on my wedding band, name forever changed and sealed by covenant vows of The Faithful One.

His Beloved.

He gave me His Name. Unashamed banner of His love over me naming me His bride, uniting me with Life.

How can I not now be dedicated to the LORD?

How can I not scratch out gratitude for all so undeserved?

I weep thanks...

#209 baby girl standing slightly pigeon-toed, leg rolls sweetly stacking over soft knees

#210 the way baby loves to dance to music

#211 steam ribbons curling

#212 peace lily that thrives in spite of my inconsistent watering

#213 baby-sized wooden rocking chair, sweet gift from a sweet friend

#214 Alexa saying "Wok! Wok! Wok!" as she rocks back and forth, grinning with her little chiclet teeth

#215 girl-drawn chalk worlds, colorful imagination

#216 glass windows

#217 white rose valentine from my oldest little sister

#218 Michelle making Selah's day, week, with little valentine's day gifts

#219 warm, homemade chocolate chip cookies and cold milk

#220 husband and daughter snuggled, captivated, reading Farmer Boy

#221 moments of being aware the LORD is with me... that He wants to talk with me... that He loves me...

#222 free post-valentine's day helium filled balloons, days of child-joy

#223 Husband skipping soccer because he wanted to spend time with his girls

#224 a day of smooth, joyful homeschooling and house cleaning

#225 Little Girl so excited about having steamed kale with dinner, asking for seconds

#226 Baby Girl spitting out kale and her facial expression of "why are you trying to feed me this??"

#227 Selah humming The Blue Danube Waltz

#228 car windows smeared smokey by little hands

#229 budding trees

#230 conversations where one can speak freely about difficult things and still feel loved

#231 Husband who is supportive of what I feel God wants me to do with my time, energy, resources

#232 soft howling wind, being able to hear what I can not see

#234 clouds come down mid-afternoon, rolling white wonder in daylight

#235 a hand-scrawled note from a dear friend, states away but heart-close "...I am praying for you... the deepness and wideness of our God's love, that He came to be a tiny baby. You are loved, Elise, and FORGIVEN. Peace be with you, sweet friend."

And also with you.

Want to count undeserved, wildest grace with me? Maybe slip over here to see what this is all about?...

What Spills Out When I'm Jolted?

I read this quote in a post nearly three weeks ago. It's been drip, drip, dripping away on a sensitive part of my heart.

“If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary love.
For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted.”
~ Amy Carmichael

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

~John 4:14-15

"Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."

~John 7:38

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

~Matt. 5:6

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

~Proverbs 16:24

Learning to Dialogue with God

Every time, I am amazed at how the pen curves and ink leaks whispered scrawling secrets from His heart to mine.

I re-write His words, and suddenly I see it, my Daily Bread, my real break-fast in the morning light. And oh, how I starve overnight.

I have had some major life-changing experiences. I record them in My Jesus Story Box. At this point, as far as I can tell, my "major" life issues have been handed over to Him and I stretch my fingers open each day to not take anything back.

Now, I long for day-changing experiences with Him.

I want to hear His voice. I talk with my daughter often about hearing Him, learning the Father-tongue language, growing accustomed to His voice. And she, the one who was "a pregnant pause" in my sin-stretched and swollen world, "a musical interlude" from Him melding my dirge into His song of celebration... she says plainly, bitterly, that she can't tell if it is Him talking to her when she prays, or just her own voice in her head.

I tell her how deeply I understand this good, God-honoring question. Is that Your voice, Lord? Or mine? Or one of the many voices that offer so many strong opinions?

I memorize scripture with Selah daily. Like secret service agents who long study real money to be able to detect a counterfeit, we study what is True so by contrast we will be able to discern what is not.

Every word of God is flawless.

And knowing scripture word-for-word is critical because a common tactic of our soul-enemy is to speak a lot of truth... and then twist it. He used this truth-twisting on the first Word-sculpted woman, and he tried this type of deception even on Jesus, very God-made-flesh, Who then set the example by answering every time with "it is written..."

It is written with the breath of Him Who spoke me into motion. And His words are alive and active, a lamp for my feet, a light for my path, a sword for my otherwise un-armed spirit.

When I memorize scripture, His words are firmly with me every step I take on this broken earth.

Memorizing scripture was the first step in my life towards daily dialogue with God.

And I have recently taken another. It blows me away how God is speaking to me every time I do this.

Like so many life-changing thoughts I come across, I was inspired by a blog post from Ann. I don't remember many specifics from her post, but I do remember this: she encouraged her readers to read scripture and respond by writing two simple lines:

"LORD, I hear You saying..."

"LORD, hear me saying..."

This is how this practically works in my devotions:

Right now I am reading in the book of Mark, and the Proverb that goes with each day of the month. How much I read out of Mark varies, sometimes only a few verses, sometimes more. Before I read I ask God to speak to me through His word, His Spirit to help me understand how it applies to my life, for wisdom, for a listening heart, for obedience to follow through on what He will show me. Then after reading I write out scripture that stood out to me in conversation format directly from Him to me. I take it personally because I am finally understanding that the scriptures are His words to me, and I try to respond with scripture so that I know my prayers are pleasing to Him and I am asking things in line with His heart. Often, He gives me scriptures to pray from what I read that day.

Step-by-step helps me apply things to my life, so in case you are like me, here is what God and I talked about yesterday, February 15th:

I read Mark 7:1-23 and Proverbs 15(NIV).

Mark 7:1-23(emphasis added)

¹ The Pharisees and some of the teachers of the law who had come from Jerusalem gathered around Jesus ² and saw some of his disciples eating food with hands that were defiled, that is, unwashed. ³ (The Pharisees and all the Jews do not eat unless they give their hands a ceremonial washing, holding to the tradition of the elders. ⁴ When they come from the marketplace they do not eat unless they wash. And they observe many other traditions, such as the washing of cups, pitchers and kettles.)

⁵ So the Pharisees and teachers of the law asked Jesus, “Why don’t your disciples live according to the tradition of the elders instead of eating their food with defiled hands?”

⁶ He replied, “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written:

“‘These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
⁷ They worship me in vain;
their teachings are merely human rules.

⁸ You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.”

⁹ And he continued, “You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions! ¹⁰ For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and mother, and, ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.¹¹ But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is Corban (that is, devoted to God)— ¹² then you no longer let them do anything for their father or mother. ¹³ Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that.”

¹⁴ Again Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. ¹⁵ Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.”

¹⁷ After he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about this parable. ¹⁸ “Are you so dull?” he asked. “Don’t you see that nothing that enters a person from the outside can defile them? ¹⁹ For it doesn’t go into their heart but into their stomach, and then out of the body.” (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods clean.)

²⁰ He went on: “What comes out of a person is what makes him 'unclean'. ²¹ For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, ²² adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. ²³ All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”

Proverbs 15:

¹ A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.

² The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge,
but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.

³ The eyes of the LORD are everywhere,
keeping watch on the wicked and the good.

⁴ The soothing tongue is a tree of life,
but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

⁵ A fool spurns a parent’s discipline,
but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.

⁶ The house of the righteous contains great treasure,
but the income of the wicked brings ruin.

⁷ The lips of the wise spread knowledge,
but the hearts of fools are not upright.

⁸ The LORD detests the sacrifice of the wicked,
but the prayer of the upright pleases him.

⁹ The LORD detests the way of the wicked,
but he loves those who pursue righteousness.

¹⁰ Stern discipline awaits anyone who leaves the path;
the one who hates correction will die.

¹¹ Death and Destruction lie open before the LORD—
how much more do human hearts!

¹² Mockers resent correction,
so they avoid the wise.

¹³ A happy heart makes the face cheerful,
but heartache crushes the spirit.

¹⁴ The discerning heart seeks knowledge,
but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly.

¹⁵ All the days of the oppressed are wretched,
but the cheerful heart has a continual feast.

¹⁶ Better a little with the fear of the LORD
than great wealth with turmoil.

¹⁷ Better a small serving of vegetables with love
than a fattened calf with hatred.

¹⁸ A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict,
but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.

¹⁹ The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns,
but the path of the upright is a highway.

²⁰ A wise son brings joy to his father,
but a foolish man despises his mother.

²¹ Folly brings joy to one who has no sense,
but whoever has understanding keeps a straight course.

²² Plans fail for lack of counsel,
but with many advisers they succeed.

²³ A person finds joy in giving an apt reply—
and how good is a timely word!

²⁴ The path of life leads upward for the prudent
to keep them from going down to the realm of the dead.

²⁵ The LORD tears down the house of the proud,
but he sets the widow’s boundary stones in place.

²⁶ The LORD detests the thoughts of the wicked,
but gracious words are pure in his sight.

²⁷ The greedy bring ruin to their households,
but the one who hates bribes will live.

²⁸ The heart of the righteous weighs its answers,
but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.

²⁹ The LORD is far from the wicked,
but he hears the prayer of the righteous.

³⁰ Light in a messenger’s eyes brings joy to the heart,
and good news gives health to the bones.

³¹ Whoever heeds life-giving correction
will be at home among the wise.

³² He who ignores discipline despises himself,
but the one who heeds correction gains understanding.

³³ Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD,
and humility comes before honor.

"LORD, I hear You saying...

You are setting aside my commands in order to observe your own traditions. This is how you nullify My word, and you are handing these traditions down to your children. It is not things outside your body that make you 'unclean', but it is what comes out of your heart that makes you 'unclean'.(from Mark 7:1-23) Your heart lies open before Me. (from Proverbs 15:11)"

LORD, hear me saying...

Please forgive me for spending more time on the state of my home, and other "outside" things, than on the state of my heart... Your home. I don't want to make it a tradition to set aside Your commands, what You say should be my priorities, and I don't want to hand down wrong priorities down to my children. I confess this sin to You and thank You that You are so faithful to forgive me and to purify me so that I can see You better (Mark 7:1-23, 1 John 1:9, Matt. 5:8). Please help me to not ignore Your discipline and in doing so despise myself. (Prov. 15:32). Please help me to carefully weigh the things that come out of my mouth/heart today (Prov. 15:28). Thank You that You come near to me and hear me! (Prov. 15:29)."

It is so encouraging to hear God speaking to me, where I am, about my daily challenges and struggles. I have not known even when I am done reading how the conversation will go... I just start writing what His Spirit has highlighted for me and end up looking back in amazement when I am finished!

I will be posting a conversation every Wednesday.

**May His face shine upon you this day, and give you His sweet peace**