It was waves of increasing suffering that I had to just keep breathing through and praying through that must come before new life.
And for all the help in this world there comes a point when there is no one but Him to cling to, when He alone holds me together when it's all splitting apart. It is the firm, unwavering grip of His empathetic and all-powerful hand who for the joy set before Him endured nail-piercing pain that leads me to this place of astounding beauty. He understands and there is no panic in leaning hard into the One who knows deeply what it means to struggle to breathe. For the joy set before Him.
This curling clinging of my smallness around His protecting strength.
And when I long for His voice during this labor, I read the next verses of His love letter to me. And this... this is the promise He gives me in black in white, He who had determined and knew this would be the exact time and place for her birth, He knew I would be at exactly this place in His word.
“Listen to me, O house of Jacob,
all you who remain of the house of Israel,
you whom I have upheld since you were conceived,
and have carried since your birth.
Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
***I miss being able to blog, but until finances change and we have internet again, I'll just keep trying to squeeze in updates here and there when I have opportunity. I just really wanted you all to meet Haylee Jaydn, our newest gift from the Faithful One. Blessings friends!***