Tuesday, August 20, 2013

The Real Reason God is Calling You to Him

I call it loud and clear to reach her upstairs in her room. "Selah! Come here please, I want to tell you something!"

I smile at the quick response of thud, thud, thud, thud. Her head peaks around the corner of the stairway, her long chocolate curls dangling over the banister. "Yes ma'am?" Her cautious eyes are wide and wondering.

Her eyes search mine and she's waiting. She knows she's been having a rough day. There has been an unusual amount of correction and discipline needed.

I smile to reassure her. "I just wanted to tell you what I think about you. You know what that is, don't you?"

She pauses briefly, then says questioningly, seriously, "I'm not being a good girl today?"

No. No. 

Crushed under that sentence I force a weak laugh and smile wider, brighter, to encourage her to speak what she already knows.

"No! That's not at all what I was going to say! Try again," another nodding smile, "what do I think about you?"

She digs deeper. Looks around "You want me to do some school?"

My heart can't take it. I'm busting. I have randomly, but consistently,  asked her this same question since she was a toddler, since the time she could understand the words and respond. Always the same question, always phrased the same way, and up until now, she has always known the answer. But she is sincerely stumped. Can't she see it in my eyes? She must not be looking at my face.

I urge her with all the sincerity I can muster in my voice "No. Selah, you know thiswhat do I think about you?"

Another heart-breaking moment passes then I see it light across her face. She knows. She grins it loud "You love me! You think I am beautiful."
"Yes!!..." the ache quietly throbbing in my chest, "yes, I love you. I think you are beautiful."

Her smile still glowing she turns back up the stairs "... I know mom, you tell me everyday..."

I sit still and don't move for quite some time. Thoughts pound and ache and settle slowly. 

You say you know, that I tell you everyday, but it took you three times to answer correctly...

He wraps His arms around me. The Parent so used to being misunderstood. He's been calling me to come to Him. And I, struggling, flailing, disciplined, cautious and wide-eyed, both question and assume what He wants to say. I haven't been good today? He wants me to do something?

His whisper aches " don't I tell you everyday?..."

I open His Word, look long into His face. It's everywhere, Spirit-breathed in urgent sincerity:

"Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned."

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love..."

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in thisWhile we were still sinnersChrist died for us."

I finally remember what I know and I'm still learning that no matter what I do or don't do, there are three things that will always remain... and the greatest of these is Love.

photo credit: Aleya Duncan

repost from the archives 

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