Christ has come! The Gift has been given.
The Light that gives Life has come into the world... but still the darkness comes early and stays late.
We love and give and make ourselves vulnerable and through our open heart the raw cold can go straight to the soul.
It is easy to draw into oneself. Hiding in the eye of a storm that rips around that has somehow become my life and I watch and wonder how do I slow it down? Stop the destructive force that is me? The movement of wind is necessary for health but at certain speeds it is dangerous, deadly even. This soul-isolation feeds the spinning cycle of disillusionment and even small things, if they fly right in front of your face at blinding speed, seem much larger than they really are.
Incessant motion is tiring so when hunger aches I grab whatever is convenient to stop the pain. I snack. I eat junk food. Appetite is curbed and temporarily, falsely, satisfied. But I am not nourished.
In these days of lengthened dark when eyes are heavy and body signals for sleep why do I push on, rejecting this season that nature suggests? There must be a lengthy time of rest for the harvest to be most fruitful. There must be a season of celebration to remind us why we toil.
It is time for the branches that cling to the Vine to let drop what is dead to make room for new life and bareness can be uncomfortable, cold, ugly.
But those who look for Beauty with all the excess stripped away will find Him. He is all around.
And as annoying as it can be, I cannot long ignore the need to eat. And my spirit, too, needs to regularly be fed. Much more often during this season. I am needy, though it is not comfortable to admit.
And in tiredness do I reach for soul junk food? Something, anything to satisfy the hunger pains? Do I merely snack when I need to feast? Do I eat and eat and eat and still hunger for something more? The appetite not truly satisfied, the needed nourishment still gnawing.
And the Gift has come and He reminds why: "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
And why do I prepare a healthy meal for others, and offer the Only Bread that satisfies, and not sit long and partake myself?
"Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare."
And when The Lord Himself was tempted to lose sight of what He was called to He rebuked the deceiver with the Truth that : "Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."
And I am tempted to be frustrated with this hunger, this unusually persistent dark and cold that aches in all my stuffed-full-but-still-gnawing places.
But instead of discouraged and I acknowledge myself blessed because He has said:
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."
"He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful."
~1 Corinthians 1:8-9
LORD, wondrous ever-faithful One, may I never be deceived that my soul can be satisfied with anything or anyone but You. Thank You for this gnawing hunger that drives me to be truly filled. Thank You that You satisfy and You lead my soul to delight in the richest of fare!