It used to be easier... And harder.
Accepting Jesus' advice to take drastic measures with my sin.
"If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire.
And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell."
~Matthew 18:8-9
Easier because it was extremely obvious what needed to be cut off or gouged out. That relationship, those words from my vocabulary, that habit of lying, drinking, drugs etc.
Harder because I didn't yet(fully) trust the One who would give me the strength to make it through the intense spiritual surgery, and the even more excruciating spiritual, mental, emotional and physical God-therapy to learn and re-learn how to function correctly.
Now, it's harder. And easier.
It's harder because I often forget, ignore, or become distracted from how destructive and offensive my current sins are against God. They aren't generally considered "big" sins.
It's easier because once the cancerous sin has been brought to my attention in a clear way, I usually don't argue with the Surgeon. I try ask Him about how He wants to cut it off and gouge it out... Because these deadly tumors spread to many parts of me.
I have walked the valley of the shadow of death too many times to not trust the One whose rod and staff comfort me. He always brings me through. My cup always overflows. Goodness and Mercy always follow me, reminding me why it's always worth it to endure the pain of the process.
Currently, He's brought to my attention ways in which I have developed a habit of being internally disrespectful to my husband. He has shown me the thought patterns of complaining and grumbling against him that must be cut off, that I need to cooperate with them being completely gouged out.
He has shown me that respect is due absolutely regardless of circumstances, frustrations, or unmet expectations... Whether they are "good" expectations or not.
He has shown me I need surgery to gouge out my deep-rooted desire to be in control. He alone is in control. It is my role to act and react in God-glorifying ways. My desire to control my children's behaviors, my husband's priorities, and my daily schedule etc has caused so much frustration, negativity, and distraction from being God-focused throughout the day.
It's time for some cutting off and gouging out.
As much as I hate to admit it, drama comes pretty naturally to me. So for Jesus to outright tell me that dramatic, drastic measures are needed is actually quite a relief. I can do drastic.
Sin is not something to be ignored, balanced, minimized, or managed. It must be cut off and gouged out.
Are there sins in your life that you hesitate to acknowledge as deeply destructive and offensive to God, yourself, or others? Are there sins that you are unwilling to cut out of your life? I encourage you to search His word for WHY that sin is so dangerous and damaging to you. He is always, always, always for you. He will withhold no good thing.
*This is a 31 Day series of Things That Help Me Focus. If you'd like to see the other posts, you can find them all right here.*
No comments:
Post a Comment